Two great things together

...Can form one of the worst creations in the history of humankind.

I'm Canadian, therefore, I play and love hockey. I'm also a nerd, so I love comics and super heroes. Between those two interests, I have no idea how I missed this travesty. (I assume it's because I avoid the NHL All-Star game like the plague) I'm now struggling to figure out if this is the most awesomely horrid cross-promotion I've ever seen, or if it is a brilliant plan designed to suck out the final remnants of pride left in the game of hockey.

The NHL Guardians, presented by Stan Lee. Superheroes based on hockey teams? How could this possibly go awry?

I found a second video that is way overlong but shows all 30 Guardians in glorious computer rendering, and it helpfully points out each champion's super powers:

In case you don't want to watch the videos, I will note that there are a few things that were worth braving the hideous concept:

The Montreal Canadien looks like a red-themed Cobra Commander. Awesome!

The Vancouver Canuck looks like Batman, but with an orca fin on his head. Appropriately moronic for a Vancouver mascot!

I was disappointed to see the Islander doesn't look like Captain Highliner, and strangely, the Edmonton Oiler has a skill called "environmental empathy." Is that like "ethical oil"?

Clearly, there's no idiotic level that the NHL will not stoop to in an attempt to sell it's "product." Can we please get rid of Bettman, or at least request the league fire the current crop of ten year olds running the marketing department?

Hockey Nerds?

It's no secret I love hockey and computers, and other than looking up stats online, I rarely get the opportunity to enjoy both of them together. Let's just say that when I'm strapping on the goalie pads in the dressing room, very few of the guys on the team get the point of my Splunk "I see dead servers" t-shirt.

So when I heard Mike Commodore had signed up with the Detroit Red Wings, I had to smile when I heard that he might try to use his name and choice of jersey number to stir up a little geek humour. He tweeted that he was thinking of debuting the number sixty-four with his new team this season.

What nerd worth his salt wouldn't enjoy seeing this circle around on the ice?


Puck Daddy has started a pledge drive to try and convince Mike to use that number for the 2011-12 season. So far they've received pledges of over three thousand dollars that they're offering to donate to a charity of Commodore's choice if he uses that number. I might just cough up US$64 (what's that in Canadian dollars these days - 20 bucks?) and actually watch a Red Wings game to see that jersey in the NHL!

H/T to Mike Brownstein.

2011 Stanley Cup Champs

Congratulations go to the Boston Bruins, who won the Stanley Cup tonight by defeating the Vancouver Canucks by a score of 3-0 in game seven of the NHL Stanley Cups Finals at Rogers Arena in Vancouver, BC.

Jeers go to the Vancouver Canucks, whose fans have spent the last two hours since Roberto Lungo's weak goaltending cost Vancouver their potential first championship trashing businesses, burning cars and furniture, and destroying the respectability of their city.

I'm not a Canucks fan, but I cheered them on in 1994 when they were a crossbar away from winning the Stanley Cup in game seven against the New York Rangers. After losing in New York, Vancouver fans also rioted and destroyed a section of their hometown.

Once is a fluke, twice is a trend. I won't again cheer for a team whose fans are such poor losers.

Stay classy, Vancouver.

(PS: I just hope those riotous idiots don't destroy the best place in Vancouver to down a couple of pints of microbrew beer, The Alibi Room)

Pilgrimage fail?

Well, this afternoon my step father joined me on a 4 hour pilgrimage southwards to view that holiest of Canadian relics: the Stanley Cup! Duncan Keith of the 2010 Stanley Cup champion Chicago Blackhawks brought the cup into Penticton, and the city mayor declared July 17th, 2010 as "Duncan Keith Day". Keith also brought along his 2010 Olympic Team Canada gold medal, and his father carried in his Norris trophy that he won as top league defenseman at the NHL Awards ceremony.

We were hoping that they would give the general public a chance to get up close and personal with Stanley's Mug, but unfortunately, that didn't happen. Right after the ceremony and speeches praising Mr. Keith for his excellent play, great accomplishments, and all-around wonderfulness (seriously, the accolades and compliments were even getting to be too much for Duncan - he kept motioning for the crowd to sit after the mayor initiated a standing ovation for him), Duncan whisked the Cup off to the side of the stage where he snapped off a long roll of photos with the local minor hockey teams. From there, he was rushed behind curtains into the bowels of the SOEC, and the show was over.

I wasn't able to get any close photos of the Stanley Cup, but I did get to touch and get some excellent pictures of the Norris trophy.

Overall, the ceremony was nice, albeit a little over-the-top when it came to the compliments given to Duncan in the various speeches from Duncan's father, the mayor, his minor league coach. (Although, to be fair, Duncan did seem genuinely modest, plus he personally donated $10,000 to the Penticton hospital. I guess a little vocal fellatio for him from local bigwigs can be forgiven).

Pics, or it never happened:



Duncan Keith carrying the cup onto the stage.



In this pic you can see Duncan is wearing his 2010 Olympic gold medal, and his father carries the Norris trophy.



The Norris trophy for top defenseman up close.